The Fallen Madonna

As we visited Lesbos yesterday, it seems like the right time to blog about another Aurora Icon. This is the statue that runs though 4 decks of the atrium which we have always called the Fallen Madonna for obvious reasons. The style is Pre-Raphaelite and it looks like its made out of Lalique glass but it's probably painted plastic. The statue actually depicts two Greek maidens of the sort that are usually seen with canopies on their heads but these have bigger hair. The dominant maiden is standing and pouring a large jug of water over the head of the sub dominant who is kneeling at her feet. The sub is holding up her hand to protect her hair. I've no idea what it's supposed to represent - perhaps they're getting ready for a wet toga competition.

Water was supposed to flow in a channel down the statue from the jar and then disappear behind the kneeling maiden's hand. It never worked properly from the day Aurora was launched. The problem was that, when the pump delivered too much water or when the ship rolled, the water splashed over the hand and out into the atrium. At the bottom of the statue are steps that the ships photographers use for formal portraits. At worst the water feature was a health and safety nightmare and at best passengers had to pose in their evening wear in a light drizzle.

The first time we were on Aurora, two workman sailed with us from Southampton to try to fix the problem. They were young, looked quite rough and wore white boiler suites with Acme Water Features or something similar stamped the back. At our dinner table was a lady of indeterminate age called, for the purposes of this story, M. She only drank champagne and only ate fish and asparagus. She had been a dancer on the Benny Hill Show and ended up marrying one of the producers. When the time came for him to trade her in for a younger model, he gave her an off shore trust fund as a goodbye present. In order to avoid UK tax, she had to spend most of her time abroad and so she just stayed on board the Aurora and paid for it out of the tax she saved. It seemed, like the Marie Celeste, she was doomed to sail the seven seas forever.

From the rather too much information we received at the dinner table, we learned that M considered that the workman had been provided, specifically for her, by P&O as a sort of loyalty bonus. After four days on the statue and four nights on M they left the ship at Gibraltar, exhausted but with the statue still not repaired. I don't know how many more men were sent by Acme Water Features or how many of them fell into M's clutches but, by the next time we cruised on Aurora, she had left for another ship and the water had been turned down to a dribble. It looked like a toilet with a leaking syphon and that's how it has remained for the last twelve or so years.

I do hope that the water feature is scheduled to be repaired during the coming refurbishment so that it can finally be seen as the artist intended. All that the kneeling maiden needs is a larger hand (no one would notice) with a bigger drain hole and perhaps a motion censor to switch off the pump in stormy weather. That can't cost a lot against a budget of £26M and there might even be enough left for a small plaque in memory of all the brave men who have worked so tirelessly on the Fallen Madonna.

Dave