Shuffleboard Hustlers

I promised Janet I'd be more sociable on this cruise and so we're playing shuffle-board. It was either that or line dancing. Shuffle-board is played on deck 13. The object is to shove a timber puck with a bald broom across the deck so that it lands in a triangular target marked out with different scores. If you land on a line it doesn't count. Teams of two play each other over 4 ends. In total you get 8 shots each so here are 32 chances to score in a game.

I soon realised that some passengers take shuffle-board very seriously as winning mean points towards that coveted key ring. In my first game, my opponent explained that I was holding the broom too high which was making the puck flip over and roll into the scuppers. However, It would have been more sporting if he'd explained this at the beginning of the game instead of waiting until he'd won. As play progressed I began to pick out the shuffle-board hustlers. They were the ones who knew the rules and said things like “your puck is just touching the line ISN'T IT” They were also the ones with the scowls on their faces because somehow they weren't winning.

The shuffle-board court has been open to all weathers for 14 years and there are rough patches and smooth patches of boarding. The caulking between the boards is slightly raised and the timber pellets that cover the fixing screws (Aurora was built in Germany) have swollen and are uneven. I soon realised this means that, for beginners or experts , the length and direction of each shot is governed entirely by the laws of chance. A high scoring game is when both teams get one in.

We play each sea day and on Wednesday my partner and I got through to the semi final or second round depending on how you look at it. We lost in a high scoring game 8-10. In the final, after 4 ends, there was no score, so they played another two ends and the score was still 0-0. The redcoat in charge had a quiz to go to and so the match was settled by seeing who could put their puck nearest to the starting triangle. Even then it took two ends before anyone got a puck close enough to count. The winners celebrated like they had won Olympic gold and the shuffle-board hustlers just shook their heads in disbelief.

Postscript.

I've just come back from today's game and the shuffle-board hustlers are definitely doing better. I'm not surprised. Late last night on the balcony just before bed I'm sure I heard the sound of sandpapering coming from deck 13.

Dave